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たいやきどこから食べますか? | イラスト: ちゃん(旧:もやし) 
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Look, I made a gif of this most awesome wizard at the Leaky Cauldron!

DUDE IS READING ‘A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME’ BY STEPHEN HAWKING

I NEVER REALIZED

are you serious

I always assumed wizards just ignored science, because the fact that “magic” exists, can explain anything. But there are MuggleBorn wizards, ones who, until they were eleven, lived in the real world and learned science and things. Did they all just abandon that normal, muggle knowledge, like Harry did? It’s always been there, itching in the back of my mind.

FOUR FOR YOU SCIENCE WIZARD

YOU GO SCIENCE WIZARD

can we point out that he’s doing wandless magic too

like voldemort couldnt even do that

molly weasley couldnt do that

who are you

Quick, somebody write a book series about the adventures of Magic Prodigy Science Wizard!!!

PLEASE SOMEONE JUST DO IT

Alan Baker had no use for wands, of course. If one were to Prior Incantato his outdated, duct-taped rod of walnut wood and dragon heartstring, its most recent use would have been the enchantment of the long-lived neurons in Alan’s own mind. This enchantment, possible only for those who were capable of seeing themselves as a complex amalgamation of neural impulses, allowed him to bypass both wands and words. Alan did this, not for show, not for power, but because wandwork distracted him from his reading.

Unfortunately, there was no legal spell to get rid of barflies.

“Hey- hey mate, you gotta- gotta minute to-“

Sobrius, Alan thought, placing one hand on his neighbor’s forehead without looking up. He pondered whether or not to cast a silencing barrier, even in violation of the Leaky Cauldron’s safety code.

“Thanks,” said the now-sober man, “Readin’ more of that Muggle trash, I see.”

Alan closed his eyes and counted to three, but when he opened them, the man was still there. Alan lowered his “muggle trash” in defeat, meeting the baggy, bloodshot eyes of the wizard sitting across from him.

Alan leaned forward, placing his hands steeple-like on the table. “Mr. Fletcher, do you know why time turners don’t send you into space?”

“The sky, y’mean? Cause they’re fer time turnin’, not apparation.”

Alan had to take a deep breath. “No,” he replied, “If time turners weren’t anchored to anything, the Earth’s rotation alone would be enough to ensure a time traveler’s demise. But someone at the ministry was clever enough to anchor them to a carefully guarded object that never moves relative to the Earth.”

“Fascinat’n,” slurred Mundungus, whose eyes had glazed over once it became clear that Alan didn’t actually have a time turner on him.

“But time turners are still very limited,” continued Alan, more to himself than to Mundungus, “They can’t go more than seven hours back, and not forward at all, and only in increments of one hour, and they only work on Earth… no, they’re very clumsy, if one truly pauses to think about it.”

“What’s yer point?”

“My point is that while wizards are slowly stagnating in their backwards remnant of the Dark Ages, Muggles are making progress, ever reaching for the light. Do you know that they don’t need magic to craft a hand of living silver?”

“Bah,” was Mundungus’s only reply, “You’d be best mates with that Weasley nutcase at the ministry, you would.”

Alan stood up, silently casting an infantes gelata to check for paradoxes. “I don’t know why I bother with you,” he sighed, “you’ve just wasted another two minutes of my time. Perhaps I bother because I have time to waste.”

And he twisted, as if to apparate, but instead faded out of existence with a distinct vworp. The air swirled in the wake of his departure, blowing back Mundungus’s straggly ginger hair.

“Muggleborns,” the short wizard muttered, then turned back to his drink.

••••••••

Thirty minutes earlier, Alan lounged contentedly within his quieting barrier, stirring his cup of tea absently and rereading one of his favourite Muggle books. He wondered, vaguely, which planet held the nearest sapient life, and what their magic would look like…

This rereading, however, would be slightly shorter than the last. Even within the barrier, the presence of another at the table tickled at Alan’s consciousness. He set down his book (rather forcefully, he had to admit,) and looked up. The bloodshot eyes of Mundungus Fletcher didn’t meet him when his own rose.

“Hello,” mouthed the man. Finite Incantatum, thought Alan.

“Hello,” he answered, “Can I help you?”

“No, not really. Well, maybe. Well, probably. Have you seen anything strange lately? Disappearing cats, people moving backwards, variances in the time vortex causing precise and intentional reversal of the course of events?”

Alan couldn’t help but stare. “Er…now that you mention it, I was just…” he trailed off as he glanced out the window and did a double take. There was a 1960s-style Muggle police telephone box in the middle of Diagon Alley. “…Is…is that a telephone box?”

“No. Yes. Recreation. Mock-up. Don’t worry, nobody will notice,” the man said, waving his hand dismissively even as he pulled on a pair of what appeared to be cheap 3-D glasses. “What I want to know,” he murmured conspiratorially, “is what’s giving you that floaty, aurary, bizarrey stuff all over you, because that should not be happening to a human. Person. I said person”

Alan’s eyebrows furrowed. “First of all, this is Diagon Alley. Most people out there wouldn’t know a police box from a pillbox, especially given it’s bright blue. Second of all, those glasses shouldn’t give you the ability to see what you’re seeing. And thirdly, Expelliarmus.

“Expelliwhat?” the man squawked, just as a long, chunky metallic object with a blue tip shot out of his jacket pocket and into Alan’s hand. A quick Identification spell told him all he needed to know.

“Fuzzy logic neural interface configured for ease of use, limited nonverbal manipulation of mechanical and electronic objects…Interesting. And leaps and bounds beyond anything wizards or Muggles can conjure up. What are you?”

The man stared at him for a few minutes before breaking out in a wide smile. “Hello. I’m the Doctor. Let me tell you a little bit about the universe…”

IT GOT BETTER

Did I just read an amazing fanfiction based on a guy that has 2 seconds in a Harry Potter movie?

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked - do it pls
1. What's your favorite candle scent?
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
5. Do you know a hoarder?
6. Can you do a split?
7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
8. How many oceans have you swam in?
9. How many countries have you been to?
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
13. What's the worst grade you got on a test?
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
18. Did your mother go to college?
19. Are your grandparents still married?
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
22. What's the first amusement park you've been to?
23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
25. Is your father bald?
26. Do you know triplets?
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
29. What's the name of your favorite restaurant?
30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ's, etc.)?
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
34. Who's your favorite person in the world?
35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
36. Can you whistle?
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
40. What medical conditions do you have?
41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
43. Where do you buy your jeans?
44. What's the last compliment you got?
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real?
50. Why do you have a tumblr?

thediabolicalmegantron said:Maybe it means that you have the blood of an adventurer

Maybe. I was going to make a joke about that lizard that landed on me a while back but actually jokes aside this is how i get a significant portion of my nutrition when we go camping

tags:
#l-silvermoon
#me

l-silvermoon said: That could be seriously dangerous. :O Like, I heard that some people ate some wild mushrooms where I am because they looked like ones back in their country but they weren’t, and they died. D:

Well yeah thats why I need to learn a lot about them! Because if i learn enough then I wont have to stop myself with the mushroom halfway to my mouth. And like agriculture control here is super up on its game so it should be pretty easy to find out what mushrooms are already on island and from that shortlist which ones are safe to eat. and like if there are some that look really similar then ill just stay away from both of them to be safe

tags:
#ask
what does cw stand for? ive always wondered...
Anonymous

Content Warning.

I prefer to tag things with content warning rather than trigger warning because tw implies that the reason someone would want to blacklist something is because its going to make them relapse or have some sort of episode. cw is more inclusive so it doesnt really matter why you want to blacklist something.